The Somali pirate spokesman, on why the $1 million that has been raised by the company that owns the hijacked Ukrainian ship, is just not enough.

"That is worthless," he said. "It would only pay for several nights' stay in a hotel!"

Yet even in the face of a potential NATO attack, the pirates say they are maintaining their manners.

"We Somalis don't eat in front of a hungry person," he said, speaking Thursday by satellite phone. "We will share our food with [the ship's crew]."

Right before they threaten to kill them, that is.

Moral of the story -- never trust a pirate. Particularly the ones who like to stay at swanky hotels.